Questions To Ask The Parents Who Will Adopt Your Baby
Once you have selected one or more prospective adoptive families to speak with, it may be helpful to have some questions prepared in case you get nervous or sidetracked while speaking with them.
Below are some suggestions. You may not find all to be relevant. But reading through this list should get you thinking about the questions and answers that are important to you. Many of these may already be answered in the family's profile. But you can ask them to expand on any that you find important. This is especially easy to do through e-mail or a private messaging system like Adoptimist's.
Their Feelings On Adoption
• Why do the prospective adoptive parents wish to adopt?
• What type of adoption (e.g., open, closed, etc.) are they looking for?
• What compromises are they willing to make?
• How do their families and friends feel about their plans?
• Do they belong to any adoption support or play groups in their area?
• Have they had any education about issues some adoptees may face growing up?
• Are they willing to give you the type of contact you want after the birth and relinquishment of the baby? (e.g.,visits, pictures, videos, letters, etc.)
• Do both partners have the same strong feelings about adopting?
• When and how do they intend to explain adoption to the child?
• How will they teach the child to refer to you?
About Their Relationship
• How did the prospective adoptive parents meet?
• How long have they been together?
• How long have they been married (if applicable)?
• What number of marriage is this for each partner?
• What are their thoughts and feelings on what makes a strong relationship?
About Their Education And Careers
• Did the prospective parents receive any education after high school?
• What are their professions?
• What are their future career goals?
About Their Family Life And Home
• Do the prospective adoptive parents have any children? If so, are they biological or adopted?
• If adopted, what type of relationship do they have with their child's birth mother?
• Will one parent be a stay-at-home? If not, who will watch the child while they are working?
• Do they own their own home? If so, what type of neighborhood is it? Are there good schools nearby?
• What is their philosophy on education?
• What is their parenting style? How do they discipline?
• Are they involved in their community? If so, what type of involvement do they have?
• Do they have extended family nearby?
• What is their relationship with each of their families?
• What do the prospective adoptive parents do on holidays? And what traditions are important to them?
About Their Religion
• What religion or faith are the prospective adoptive parents?
• How big of a role does religion play in their lives?
• Do the prospective adoptive parents regularly attend a church? If so, what is their level of involvement?