December 17, 2014

Communicating with Expectant Mothers Considering Adoption

As a hopeful adoptive parent, you are looking forward to the day you connect with an expectant mother, but you may also have a lot of anxiety about talking to her. What do you say? How do you act? You’re probably a bundle of nerves. I won’t pretend to know exactly what you are feeling, but I can assure you that as you speak or meet with any mothers considering adoption, they are nervous, too. They are wondering if you are going to like them, if they are going to say the right things, and so on, just as you may be. I have a few suggestions for talking with... Read more…

December 12, 2014

Christmas Gift Ideas for Birthmoms

One question adoptive parents frequently ask me is for gift suggestions for birthmothers for holidays and birthdays. With Christmas right around the corner, I thought now would be a perfect time to share a couple of suggestions of gift ideas for birthmothers. I sometimes get the impression from these questions that adoptive parents are looking for that perfect gift for their child’s birthmother. As a birthmother, I can assure you that almost anything you give your child’s birthmother is going to be appreciated and well received. We love that you just... Read more…

December 10, 2014

The holidays are a great time to add to your adoption diary… 10 things you can add right now

The holiday season is a warm, fuzzy time.  We are usually gathering with family and friends and enjoying traditions, old and new.  This is a great time to add to your Adoptimist diary and share your unique family traditions! Be sure to include pictures of what you have been up to and tell the reader how much you are looking forward to including a child one day.  Here are just a few ideas, things you can just snap pictures of this weekend, to help show and tell your story in your profile. • Decorating the Christmas tree or Hanukkah bush... Read more…

December 2, 2014

5 More Things Not To Say To A Birthmother

After writing the post 5 Things You Should not Say to a Birthmother, I posted a link to it on the BirthMom Buds Facebook page. I received responses of some hurtful comments that other birthmothers shared that I didn’t include in my first post, so I thought we’d take a look at those additional comments and why they are painful. As I said in my last post, I know people don’t... Read more…

November 15, 2014

Sam’s Sister: A Book Geared Towards the Children of Birthparents

I think when many people think of an expectant mother making an adoption plan, they think of the stereotypical sixteen-year-old high school student experiencing her first unplanned pregnancy. But that is just a stereotype. In fact, many of today’s birthmothers have a child at home they are parenting who is older than the child they placed. How do you explain adoption to these kids who typically are just one year to four or five years older than the child the parent is placing or has placed? There are a lot of adoption books out there that explain adoption to... Read more…

October 18, 2014

Open Letter To A Mom Considering Adoption

Dear Mother Considering Adoption, You’ve found yourself in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy and you are probably feeling a myriad of different emotions. You’re scared, happy, nervous, confused, indecisive, overwhelmed, and more. You may also feel in awe and connected to the baby growing inside of you. If you’ve stumbled upon this blog post, I’m assuming that you are contemplating the alternatives of either parenting your baby or placing your child for adoption. This is a tough decision—one of the most important and life altering that you will... Read more…

October 3, 2014

20 Reasons You Should Change Your Profile Photos Right Now

It’s time to get real about your profile photos. Here are 20 good reasons you should consider changing yours today: 1) Blurry / out of focus 2) You aren’t smiling 3) You are frowning 4) Too dark outside / inside 5) Photo is seasonally inappropriate (winter shot in the middle of summer) 6) Eyes not visible - closed / covered by sunglasses 7) Doesn’t actually look like you 8) Over-exposed 9) Outdated photo from a previous decade 10) Not looking at the camera 11) Background is too busy 12) Bad scan / poor image quality 13) Too close... Read more…

September 30, 2014

5 Things You Should Not Say To A Birthmother

As a birthmother and the friend of many birthmothers, I frequently hear comments and questions that make me cringe. These comments are often made by random strangers, friends, colleagues, and so on. They are made about birthmothers and directly to birthmothers regarding their status as a birthmother, their (placed) child, or adoption in general. I think, for the most part, people are good hearted and don’t intentionally mean to be hurtful. Honestly, people probably don’t know what to say, so they just say something. Let’s take a look at five of the most... Read more…

September 19, 2014

6 Tips To Consider When Choosing Your Main Profile Photo

“Hi”, “Hello”, “Come on in!” That is what your main photo is.  It is like someone seeing you from across a room and taking a minute to decide things about you in their head before they ever speak to you. It may even decide IF they even talk to you. It is that handshake or pat on the shoulder as you greet someone for the first time. You are inviting expectant parents in to learn more about you, to get to know you better in your profile. Think about the first impression your picture makes. Is it welcoming and inviting? Let ‘em see that face of... Read more…

About This Adoption Blog

The Adoptimist blog features advice, tips, and inspiration for adoptive parents who are actively pursuing adoption connections online.

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