I am a proud mama (through domestic infant adoption) to my son Maxwell who is almost 3 years old. He makes my days brighter and fills my heart with so much love. I pinch myself daily that I was chosen by his mom to be the one to raise him and help him blossom.
I provide updates and pictures to Maxwell’s mom via text message and have let her know that we’re open to more communication and get togethers whenever she is ready. Even though Maxwell is young, I read him books about adoption and talk about his birth mom regularly. I want to make sure he feels comfortable coming to me with any questions that might arise surrounding his adoption. I will always answer honestly, in an age appropriate way, with the information that I know.
I have a strong community of adoptive parents, birth parents, and adoptees to help guide and support me in my parenting journey. I also continue to educate myself with books, podcasts, webinars, and workshops regarding adoption, multiracial families, and various parenting styles. I make it a point to organize play dates with other adoptive families so that Maxwell will grow up with friends who have families like his. I also make sure that Maxwell is connected to the Black community in our area and I am committed to seeking out racial mirrors in all aspects of his life. My goal is to raise Maxwell to be proud of his heritage by constantly and consistently affirming his racial identity and surrounding him with others who do the same. I am always learning and growing and am so appreciative to my Black friends who share their lived experiences, parenting tips, and general advice in support of my multicultural family.
I come from a large family (2 brothers, 4 sisters and 2 step-sisters) and Maxwell has 12 cousins, many whom he sees on a weekly basis. Family get togethers are generally a bit chaotic, but filled with lots of laughter and love. That’s not to say we are perfect by any means, but I am grateful to have the family that I do. They are very supportive of me as a single parent and help out whenever I need it.
I would probably be deemed the quiet one of my siblings, but that’s mostly because I am a thinker and an observer more than I am a talker. But get me going on a subject that I’m passionate about and you’ll probably wish that I would be quiet ;).
I have several passions, which include travel, cultural awareness, and social justice. I work for a travel company and am very fortunate to have had many amazing opportunities to travel the world, starting with studying abroad in college. Travel has of course taught me so much about other countries and cultures, but also transformed me into the person that I am. It has been the best education I could receive. I hope to pass along my love of travel to Maxwell and any future kiddos. I also want to make sure to celebrate the various cultures right here in the States, as diversity is what makes this country unique. Obviously there are major strides that need to be taken in order to gain equity for all cultures and races in America. I am committed to speaking out against social injustices not only for my own kids but for all children of color.
I believe that Maxwell can achieve and be anything he wants, and I promise to provide him and any future siblings the foundation needed for success. I will be their number one advocate and cheerleader, supporting them in their own passions and dreams no matter what those might be.
Having grown up in a large family, I appreciate the sibling bonds that I have and want the same for Maxwell. Of course we didn’t all get along all of the time, but there is something to be said about sharing childhood experiences and the bond that creates. I am excited about the idea of Maxwell being a big brother and the fun that he and a sibling would have together, undoubtedly getting into trouble together from time to time too.
I’m not currently dating anyone, but my criteria for “Mr. Right” includes not only being a great partner, but also being an awesome dad. Regardless, I’ve made sure that Maxwell has lots of positive male role models in his life.
We live in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath bungalow in a very walkable area. A great park is only 2 blocks away, which we take advantage of on a regular basis. Just a little further are tons of shops, restaurants, the library and a biking trail. Our house has lots of play space inside and out (which has already been baby proofed and toddler tested). Maxwell is ready for a playmate to join him in the fun!
- I currently don’t post identifying pictures of Maxwell on social media. I am happy to share more information and pictures of our family via email.
- We live in Indianapolis, Indiana and are within walking distance to parks, shops, restaurants, walking trails, and the library.
- I speak Spanish (although I’m a bit rusty) and plan to send Maxwell to a dual language school once he’s old enough. The school has Black administrators, Black teachers and a Black-majority student population. Yay for representation and racial mirrors!
- I don’t eat meat, but do eat fish. I expose my son to all foods, including meat.
- I believe in vaccinations (my sister is a pediatrician).
- I don’t follow a specific religion but will educate my son on the various world religions and support him in whatever he chooses.
- Both Maxwell and I love being outdoors. We go to the park whenever possible, which will hopefully turn into lots of hiking, biking and maybe even camping adventures one day.
- Travel is one of my life passions that I intend to continue and share with my kids. Maxwell has already flown 4 times roundtrip and has been on several road trips. I hope to get him a passport in the near future.
- I am home study approved through the Children’s Bureau in Indianapolis (https://www.childrensbureau.org/our-services/adoption/). I have also completed the Building Community Across Cultures (BCAC) program through Pact Adoption in California www.pactadopt.org (an educational program for families adopting transracially).
I am committed to the following:
- Openness and honesty. I won’t make promises I can’t keep and I will answer any and all questions honestly.
- Open lines of communication. Whether that’s text messages, phone calls, or in person visits, I will make sure you receive updates in a manner that you’re comfortable with.
- A lifetime relationship. Adoption doesn’t have an ending point. This would be the beginning to a long lasting relationship.
- Realizing the importance of sibling relationships in my own life, I would make sure that a future child would have the opportunity to develop and maintain any bio sibling connections as well.
- Honoring and celebrating your child’s heritage in all aspects of their life. Providing racial mirrors and environments that affirm them and help them to build a strong racial identity.
- The option for your child to attend college. I have a college fund started for Maxwell and plan to do the same for any future children.