On December 27, 2016, a couple of months after learning about the adoption process from our dear friends, we had our first consultation with our attorney. We wanted to gain further legal counsel on independent adoption before deciding whether or not we wanted to proceed. By March, we became home study approved, and by June, we were officially certified and ready to begin the rigorous process of advertising and becoming public. From creating a website and a Facebook page to advertising through Craigslist and print ads in a couple of states, what ultimately led to our success was Instagram and Adoptimist!
In the first month of advertising, we didn’t hear much. We were updating our posts daily, but the phone did not ring often, and we received only a few emails and texts and had a couple of setbacks from scammers. It was daunting. I was beginning to question EVERYTHING. Then on August 2, we received the email that would change our lives forever. Emails evolved to texts and then to phone dates, which quickly turned into a beautiful relationship. Our son’s mother was 21, with a son (his full brother, only 15 months older!). She was no longer with their father and knew she could not provide the life she thought her child deserved. Her extremely difficult and selfless decision gave me the ultimate gift of motherhood and helped my husband and me complete our forever family.
Two completely different social media sites, with hundreds of couples, and they both found US!!
This story is extra special for many reasons. First, our child’s mother found us on Instagram. I had never even had an Instagram account before. Our posts, hashtags, and website truly spoke to her. She felt like she had a glimpse into our lives and could get to know us even before talking to us. Even more amazing is that her supportive parents wanted to help her with the adoption process and began researching couples on their own.
They found us on Adoptimist, and when they spoke to their daughter about a couple they loved, she told them she had already contacted a couple. They knew ultimately it should be her decision but tried to convince her not to put all her eggs into one basket. They started talking about us and our backgrounds, and she immediately asked, “What are their names?” They replied, “Jaimie and Brian.” She told them we were the couple she already started talking to! Two completely different social media sites, with hundreds of couples, and they both found US!! Lastly, what really brings this story full circle is that our son was born December 27, 2017, exactly one year after our first legal consultation.
We will always teach our son that he came from love, came into love, and will always be surrounded by an infinite amount of love.
I would never have believed our attorney if she had told us at that first meeting that in exactly one year, our son would be born! All of this just shows how it was meant to be…We are just so truly blessed and so fortunate. Here we are, one year later. When we first started speaking to our son’s birth mother, we thought we would have a partial open adoption, share pictures, and touch base from time to time—or at least leave a line of communication open—but this experience made us extremely close. We feel connected and have an exorbitant amount of respect and love for one another. We feel we have gained another family, and although we are states away from each other, we talk and text often and even FaceTime. We hope to visit in the future and are eager for the brothers to know each other. We will always teach our son that he came from love, came into love, and will always be surrounded by an infinite amount of love.
You just never know exactly where this journey will take you. Family and friends mean well but don’t know exactly what it’s like to be in your shoes.
Our advice for anyone going through this process, whether you are the hopeful adoptive family, or the birth mother or father, is keep the faith and keep an open mind. You just never know exactly where this journey will take you. Also, look into support groups. Today, we are lucky to have not only face-to-face but online support groups, as well. Family and friends mean well but don’t know exactly what it’s like to be in your shoes. We wouldn’t be where we are today without the love and support of our group. Lastly, all of this is in the best interest of the child, and I promise, you will love him or her intensely and unconditionally. We can’t even begin to imagine our lives without our son or his birth family. Our hearts are certainly fuller now. He was definitely worth the wait!