Since I was young, I have always had a desire in my heart to adopt. The idea to bring a child into my future home and family; and be lucky enough to be a mother was a happy dream. I never expected to be led to adoption after battling infertility. However, I’m grateful for all the factors that made adoption a reality for my family. Our journey began “officially” about seven years ago when my husband and I started saving money, researching, praying, and finally picking the domestic path. Four and a half years ago, and by no means smoothly, our son was introduced to us in the NICU of a Children’s Hospital. Today, we hope and pray to give him a sibling through adoption soon.
Adoption has taught my husband and me many things. Speaking for myself, it taught me:
To follow my heart. Adoption had been in my heart when I was very young. I dreamed of having a family that represented all nations long before Brad met Angelina. When faced with infertility options, I felt a strong pull to pursue adoption and to not seek certain fertility options. My son was in my heart before he was a twinkle in anyone’s eye.
That faith really does move mountains. Mountains can come in many forms. We faced financial barriers, our own fears and doubts — even the choices of others were sometimes road blocks — but they all fell away in order to unite us with our son. It is true — with God, nothing is impossible!
There is a definite healing power in love. When my husband and I were called about our son, we were told he was “very sick”. The agency wanted to know if we were still interested in adopting him since he was “very sick”. We took the leap of faith and went for it. All I thought was, we will pray for him and have everyone we know pray for him. I couldn’t wait to hold him and start being his mother. I felt compelled to get to him as soon as we were allowed and hold him. I held him in that NICU for as many hours a day as I could stay awake and not eat. I loved him and still love him in a way I have never loved any other human being. I asked when he would be allowed to come home with us every day for almost a month. A few years later I was talking to the sister of one of the nurses who had cared for our son in the NICU. She said, “they didn’t think he was going to make it”. I heard that sentence as I watched my boy jumping, smiling, and playing. He’s thriving. Love is amazing medicine.
To speak up and follow my gut. Our son was in one of the best hospitals in the country when we met him. He was in a brand-new NICU; where each baby only had to share a nurse with one other baby. However, our child was not gaining any weight — and it was not addressed or discussed until my husband and I brought it to the doctors’ attention. We learned early on that there is no better advocate for our child’s health and welfare than his parents. Regardless if it’s “scientific” or not — I follow my gut when it comes to my child or any aspect of my life more now.
That the right child comes at just the right time. People had told me this over and over again before I met my son. I rolled my eyes. I thought it was ridiculous. Now I know my son. He is my son and I am his mother. My husband is his father. There has never been a better match of people than our family. From his personality, to his sensitivity, to how his one ear physically that matches mine — he is our son. We are meant to be with him and he is meant to be with us. If you have already adopted, you know this. If you are still waiting for your oldest child, you might be rolling your eyes. Some day, you’ll remember these words and totally get it. I assure you!
The adoption journey is probably not yet done teaching me. I look forward to each new lesson.