Adoptimist Adoption Blog
October 18, 2014

Open Letter To A Mom Considering Adoption

Dear Mother Considering Adoption,

You’ve found yourself in the midst of an unplanned pregnancy and you are probably feeling a myriad of different emotions. You’re scared, happy, nervous, confused, indecisive, overwhelmed, and more. You may also feel in awe and connected to the baby growing inside of you.

If you’ve stumbled upon this blog post, I’m assuming that you are contemplating the alternatives of either parenting your baby or placing your child for adoption. This is a tough decision—one of the most important and life altering that you will ever face.

You have the option to parent this child. Perhaps you’ll be a single mother. Maybe you have support from your baby’s father, your family, and/or your friends. Regardless of support, you probably wonder if you will be a good mother. You wonder if you can juggle raising a baby with all the other things going on in your life.

You also have the option to place your child for adoption. You wonder if you can actually go through with handing over the baby you have carried for nine months to another family to raise. You wonder how you will handle not being a part of your child’s everyday life.

This is one of the hardest choices you will ever have to make. Regardless of which option you select, you are already a good mother. The time, thought, research, and energy you are putting into this decision make you a good mother. Worrying about your child’s needs and future makes you a good mother. Loving the little life inside of you makes you a good mother.

You are strong. Whatever decision you make, you can do this. Trust your instincts.

With love,
Someone Who Has Been in Your Shoes

About The Author

Coley Strickland

Nicole “Coley” Strickland has become a strong voice for expectant mothers and birthmothers. At the age of 25, she became a birthmother, lovingly placing her three-day-old baby boy into an open adoption and the arms of his adoptive parents. She and fellow birthmother Leilani Wood went on to found BirthMom Buds, a website and nonprofit organization that provides support to birthmothers.

Coley has further given a voice to the bittersweet turmoil of birthmothers, becoming an active member of the adoption community, writing, speaking and sharing her story with others. In addition to her numerous blogs, she has also been featured on a number of radio programs, magazine and newspaper articles, as well as in the books: How to Create a Successful Adoption Portfolio by Madeleine Melcher and A Personal Touch on Adoption by Peter Berlin. In addition to her many other roles, Coley has been blessed to parent her special needs son Noah, who along with the son she placed, is the love of her life.

Visit Coley's site at
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About This Adoption Blog

The Adoptimist blog features advice, tips, and inspiration for adoptive parents who are actively pursuing adoption connections online.

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