Jessa and Keaton

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Last Activity: 6 hours ago

Trusting the New Year

Jessa here. :) I always take some time to reflect as the year comes to a close. Our family has been on a wild journey trying to add a baby to our family. I remember so confidently thinking this time last year “by this time next year we will for sure be a family of four.” It felt like we had already been on our journey for so long at that point. We felt a lot of pressure because we knew our bestie and Keaton’s sister were going to start to try to conceive in 2022 and the idea that they might conceive before us added a tremendous amount of (self-inflicted) pressure for us. It was unfathomable that they could go through entire pregnancies while we were still waiting for our “yes.” The reality is that one of our nieces was born in October, and the other is weeks away from being earth side. It’s so easy to assume we are doing something wrong. That if we did this, or were better in this way, or tried this we would be more appealing. But authenticity is important to us, even if it takes longer. We try to present ourselves as honestly as we can, and I have to trust that our “yes” will come. So as the year closes, I am working on shifting my focus to trusting hope. I’m trusting that us being authentically ourselves will draw the right match to us. I trust that there is someone out there who needs us just as desperately as we need them. We believe that adoption is to find homes for a baby, not babies for couples who want one (even though our whole family wants one so deeply). And, even though it’s scary, I’m going to trust that our home will eventually be the right fit for a baby who needs one. It’s so hard to let go and wait. But as hard as the past 19 months have been for us, (and they have felt unspeakably hard at times) we know it’s not the same hurt expectant parents feel when trying to decide if adoption is right for them. That is a completely different type of hurt that requires so much trust. We promise to honor your sacrifice and trust as best as we can. So we are putting ourselves out there, trusting that you will find us. And hoping with every fiber of our being that, if we feel like the right fit for you, that you can trust us to raise your baby with every ounce of love and care we have (which is a lot). I’ve tried a lot of different tactics the past year and a half, so now I’m just going to whole-heartedly trust. Love makes a family, but so does trust. Happy New Year. ❤️

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Jessa and Keaton

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Jessa and Keaton