Our Hope for You, Considering Adoption
You may be pregnant and considering your options right now. We can’t begin to understand all that may be on your plate and the emotions you are or are not experiencing.
We want you to know that we are a pro-choice couple. We believe that only you know what is best and what will work for you.
Here are some of our hopes for you as you consider adoption:
• We hope that you have been or are able to explore all of your options with no judgement and no pressure.
• We hope that you can easily access all of the information you need to make your decisions.
• We hope someone can counsel you on all of the support and resources that are available to you, including resources available if you decide you want to parent OR if you decide you want to make an adoption plan.
• We hope that you are unconditionally supported as you navigate these decisions. If you don’t have friends or family to support you, we hope you can connect with caring professionals who can.
• If you do choose adoption, we hope that choice comes from a place of empowerment. We don’t necessarily mean that we hope you feel “happy.” But we do hope you eventually feel a confidence that you did what you believe was best for you and your baby.
Being on the other side of this, we really hope that we chose an adoption agency that can help pregnant women, and potentially the birth mother who chooses us, with these things. It is difficult to know this for sure, as we don’t have the experience of being on that side. During the first workshop we attended with our agency, Friends in Adoption, they reported that they typically work with about 300 pregnant women every year, but only end up placing about 30 babies. We took a lot of comfort in this, as to us it meant that a bulk of what they are doing is supporting women (regardless of what their choice ends up being). We also really appreciate the counseling support available to the pregnant women and birth mothers. From what we have been told, this support is always available… even if the birth mom calls 15 years later with new emotions related to the adoption, they will be there to support and listen. We really hope this support is helpful if the birth mother who chooses us needs it.
We also hope we as a couple can support our future birth mother. I don’t think we have all the answers or ideas right now as to how we will do that. But we are certainly eager to work with the birth mother and figure it out together, if that is something they want.
We know adoption is emotionally complicated. But when done right, we believe it can end up to be a really beautiful thing for everyone involved. If you end up choosing adoption, we hope your story ends up that way (and ours too).