Makenna writes: "In 2009, I responded to a Craigslist personal ad entitled "Dear Joyous Spirit..." I was hooked by the long and thoughtful piece. Over the next two years, Matthew charmed me with his cooking, the way he made me laugh and his sweetness. Bonus: He was (and still is) willing to challenge his own ideas about race and gender; big ups for those skills. Second bonus: He did not think it was weird that I was a complete Black Girl Nerd :0)
Matthew remembers: She was beautiful, she was smart, and she was funny. She told me she had moved to California because she wanted to live by the ocean. She said she was working on her PhD in Psychology and that she wanted to help people. She was just too interesting to not see again. And again. So it started there and it's never stopped!
In 2011, we flew to Hawaii and got married with our bare feet in the Pacific Ocean. Then we came back to Oakland and had a big celebration with friends and family. And then another party in San Diego with friends and family there. And then another party in Denver with friends and family there.
We began to pursue our shared goal of buying a house in the Bay Area and starting a family. We bought our home in 2015, but a successful pregnancy has eluded us. We’re turning to open adoption because we both feel strongly that raising a child, or two, together is something we are meant to do.
Matthew’s parents are both retired teachers in their 70s. They have been married for 49 years. His mother has taken up abstract painting in retirement; his father learned to surf. He has one younger brother who lives with his wife and newborn son.
Makenna’s parents are also in their 70s, and have been married for 46 years. Her mother exercises every day, sews, and finds time to learn about new topics on her own. Her father uses his artistic skills to refurbish and sell antiques out of his small store. One of her brothers is a vegan who practices Muay Thai, and her other brother is a tech wiz.
We both come from small families, so we know the value of building out a “family” with lifelong friends who are always there for you. They are the kind of friends that have been with us through the good and hard times. We have a diverse community of friends that are within a short drive from our home. Many of them have children, so there will be plenty of opportunities for birthday parties, celebrations, and playground times with their children.
We have dear friends that have been by our side throughout our journey toward parenthood. They are all supportive and excited, and cannot wait to help us.