After three years of being in the adoption process, I recognized that I needed to create the right opportunities to meet expectant parents who would connect with me. I am an outgoing, creative, compassionate and proactive person, so when I thought about how I wanted to start this diary, a Q & A session seemed like a great intro for potential expectant parents to get to know me!
What is one example of my perseverance in this process?
Going through this process as a single has been quite challenging! I have grown so much in the three years I have been a hopeful adoptive mom – and am so grateful for this period of self-reflection. I am confident that my commitment to persevere no matter what will guide me to the right birth parents and the child I have been chosen to raise.
What has surprised me about this process-good and/or bad?
One thing that has surprised me most about the adoption process is the number of amazing people I have met, and also the number of people who will try to take advantage of such a vulnerable situation.
What do I think is misunderstood about adoption?
Many people in the general public don’t recognize the choice of adoption for the ultimate act of love that it is. It is the most unselfish thing a birth parent can do, and creates a rare opportunity for the child to have a built-in village with a greater understanding of who the child is, and where she or he came from. Many people also assume that adoptions are still primarily closed, when in actuality adoptions with varying degrees of openness are more common these days. I look forward to sharing a relationship with my child’s birth parents in whatever capacity is most comfortable for them.
Who are my biggest supporters? Who can I always turn to?
My family and close friends are all very supportive of this process. They know the struggles I have endured while pursuing adoption, and are excited to see my desire to be a mother be fulfilled.
My favorite quote and song for this process…
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” –Anais Nin.
I really like the song Finest Hour by Cash Cash, which talks about not being perfect, but to always do your best and show up anyway.
What am I most proud of – so far – in this process?
I’m most proud of my enduring hope that I will find my child and my child will find me.
What scares me the most about this process — and why?
The thought that I could be doing more than what I’m doing right now to meet the right expectant mama and find my child.
If I had a magic wand, what would I like to change most about this process?
I would facilitate the matching process through an artistic connection identified between expectant parents and adoptive parents – a shared thread of hope that would inspire them to co-create. To weave halves of a blanket, sing parts of the same song, make a piece of art, a poem, a dance…and their collaborations would be shared with their child as part of his or her unique adoption story.