How We Got Here
(A picture by Tess. One of the many drawings our kids have made, of our whole family - newest member already included!)
Good morning. Erin here.
When I was a little girl, I daydreamed about what my family would look like when I grew up: and I always imagined raising both biological and adopted children. It was a dream that I held onto - that held onto me - even into adulthood.
Imagine my surprise and delight when - early in our dating relationship - Adam shared that he had always hoped to grow a family through adoption!
So for us, it wasn’t ever really a matter of *if* we would adopt, but *when.*
Adoption was actually our first choice. We wanted a child who came into our family through adoption to know that they were just as wanted as our kids by birth. We wanted them to know they were never a second choice. So, exactly one year after we were married, we reached out to a local agency to learn about the process of adoption. We had our first appointment with a social worker on the calendar - and then found out we were pregnant.
Tess came along quickly, and Joanna not long after. They are a delight to us! But the pregnancies were complicated and increasingly high-risk, for me and the babies. Our medical team advised what had already become clear to us - it would be too risky to have any more children by birth.
After Joanna was born, I had surgery to make me infertile. Of course there is an element of grief in knowing that that door is closed for good; but there has been absolutely no regret. Not even a hint of it.
Here’s what’s amazing: All of those complications and risks in pregnancy have added up to feel like confirmation to us. I don’t quite know how to explain it except to say that those childhood dreams…the risky pregnancies…the hopes…they all fit. Or, to use another analogy: they’re all like sign posts, leading us…here. Where we dreamt of being for almost our whole lives.
Our family feels almost complete. But as our family looks around the table, plays family games, and gives hugs and kisses goodnight, we all feel the space our hearts are holding for the one who is yet to come.
In your own hopes, dreams, visions, and plans - love, strength, and peace to you. <3