Different ways to support your child’s birthmother during an adoption process
Child adoption can be wonderful, and at the same time, difficult time for Birth Mothers. No matter her circumstances, she has a forever connection and love for her child. Placing is difficult. It is the ultimate sacrifice a mother can make, and the connection between Birth Mother and Adoptive Parents will always be. Whether you are looking for an open or closed adoption, there are thoughtful ways to support your child’s Birth Mother. Letting her know you care through sincere gestures, no matter how small, can show your love and dedication to not only her, but to her child. That is unconditional love.
1. Write her a letter
Whether long or short, writing a letter is very intimate and thoughtful. Even if it seems like a small gesture, it can be big for a Birth Mother to know that you are thinking of her and wishing her well in what could be a very vulnerable time in her life. Our clients’ profiles often include a letter directly addressed to the Birth Mother. This letter describes their feelings and hopes for her and tells a little more about their family and plans for the baby. It can be reassuring to the Birth Mother to read the innermost thoughts of their child’s Adoptive Parent(s).
2. Send a gift
You may have thought about caring gifts to send to a Birth Mother, but weren’t sure what exactly to get. Fortunately, there are cool organizations out there like Tied at the Heart that focus on supporting Birth Mothers. They often host retreats for Birth Mothers and even sell “Love Totes,” all-inclusive gift bags filled with useful items for Birth Mothers during all stages of adoption.
3. Send photos of your child
Once the adoption process is finalized and the baby goes home with you, some of your most cherished memories of life will begin to unfold for you. For Birth Mothers there can also be a rollercoaster of overwhelming emotions that take place. Your Birth mother will begin the healing process and you and baby will always be in her mind and heart. Sending photos to your Birth Mother can help her heal with the constant reassurance that her baby is happy and growing with your family as she envisioned.
4. Meet up
There’s nothing like a reunion. You, baby, and Birth Mother get to relive the crazy-beautiful emotions that come with adoption. It can be very emotional meeting up with your child’s Birth Mother, and it can help strengthen the forever connection you have. It allows your child to cultivate healthy ideas in relationships and also helps them to further understand more of themselves and their adoption. Even if you just meet up for a quick lunch or a trip to the park, it will be a day you all remember. Of course, all relationships are different and this might not be the right choice for your particular situation.
5. Teach your child about their Birth Mother
Honesty is always the best policy. Teaching your child about their Birth Mother allows their curiosity to be expressed early-on. They can form positive ideas about family, relationships and unconditional love when their parents allow them to know the truth about their adoption and Birth Mother.