Tiny roommate to share lovely garden apartment in Brooklyn, with Australian-American couple. Rent-free for first 18 years.
Room is fully-furnished with garden view, AC, and private bathroom—but no privacy until ability to bathe without drowning is demonstrated. Toys, books, room service, transport, education, and health care included.
Applicant must be small enough to fit comfortably in crib and teeny-tiny clothing (provided). Droolers okay. Lack of teeth, hair, and toilet-training also okay.
All meals provided. Food will be good, in fact it will be the food your mom made. Cookies and cakes are baked on premises, birthdays and holidays are celebrated, and excursions to pools, carousels, parks, playgrounds, stores, museums, shows, movies, restaurants, etc., are also included with the room.
Friends, little buddies, big buddies, grandparents, cousins, aunties, uncles, mentors, and godparents are all provided free of charge.
Also included: trips to see the world, especially Australia, Hawaii, Spain, France, Italy, Thailand, and the English countryside—to start with.
For our part, we’ll try to be fair and reasonable and will really listen to you—once you learn to speak. We will find out who you are, help you to be yourself, and teach you everything we know about living a good life.
We won’t let you do things that make us dislike you, or let you act in ways that are damaging to yourself or others, but we’ll always, always love you. Your talents will be encouraged, your potential explored, and support and bear hugs will constantly be available.
In return, you won’t be able to live without us, at least for the first 12 years. Then you’ll become a teenager, and find that everything we say and do is embarrassing. You’ll wish that other people—preferably famous movie stars—had adopted you but, thanks to your sound upbringing and good education, you’ll know that the kids of movie stars don’t always turn out well.
One day, when you’re a successful, happy, independent adult, you’ll know it’s because you had a childhood of plenty (though not enough to spoil you), that you were deeply loved and believed in, and you’ll be kinda glad that you stuck with us through puberty.
If this sounds good to you, we hope to meet you soon and start loving you forever.
For more information: www.coreyandsusiadopt.com