We met more than 20 years ago in graduate school in Boston, and thus a love of learning and books has defined our relationship. After so many years of being together, we have yet to run out of ideas to share or things to say to each other. In a sense we came of age together, pursuing our degrees and learning from each other, ending up in Virginia with jobs as College Professors.
Both of us, in different ways, have an inclination to relate to people of different ages and backgrounds quite naturally. This is what makes us good teachers, and we are certain will also make us great parents.
Throughout our relationship, whenever we talked about children, it was usually in terms of adopting when we were ready. Neither of us necessarily wanted to have biological children. The time now seems perfect to add to our family.
We have secure jobs, a lovely home, a loving extended family and many friends, and a good sense of who we are. We enjoy walks in the woods, picnics by the water, watching the sunset on the beach, and we very much want to share all this and much else with a child. We always think about raising a child in terms of sharing our lives—sharing all the love, experience, knowledge, stories that we have gained over the past 4 decades—and rediscovering life anew through the eyes of the child.
We were both raised in disciplined but loving homes, and will raise the child in a stable environment that gives her/him a sense of self-worth and respect towards themselves and others. As educators, we both appreciate the value of a good education and will provide the child with the very best of it, both at home and in educational institutions.
Our jobs keep us constantly in touch with the concerns and needs of young people and we will guide our child accordingly to achieve the very best. We will open up an entire world to the child, because we are open to it ourselves, and have family and friends all over the world (The Netherlands, South Africa, Ireland, China, and India) whom we visit often.
We are open to a child of any race not simply because we are well-read, but also because we were raised to accept and appreciate differences. Today we live in an integrated and diverse neighborhood in a small city in Virginia with people of different races and backgrounds and lots of kids who enjoy playing on our driveway. Our neighbors are good, hardworking people who help each other out whenever they can.
We also have excellent relationships with our colleagues, many of whom are our good friends; they are all kind and generous, have children of varying ages, and will be very helpful in navigating the practical world of childrearing.
Our child will be enveloped in love, support, and friendship. Even if we are half as good as parents as our parents were to us, then the child will never feel unloved or want for anything. We’re excited at the endless possibilities for our child and our family as we make our way together in the future.
Our home is in a leafy, diverse neighborhood in a lovely Virginia town with lots of kids playing on the streets and in their backyards. The school bus comes to the end of the street every morning and afternoon.
We have lived here for over a decade and know all our neighbors, who are warm and friendly people always willing to extend a helping hand. Our home has plenty of room, including for a nursery and playroom for the child. Your child will love to grow up here, surrounded by kids of all ages and caring adults looking out for them.
I love nature, animals, books, and stories, because at some level I feel like a kid myself, discovering the world anew each day. I had a wonderful, stimulating childhood in India, and I grew up in a family where learning was constantly encouraged.
I was an unendingly curious child, asking incessant questions and wanting instant answers. (It is Jim’s intellectual curiosity about the world that first drew me to him and defines our bond to this day.) My parents raised my sister and I to be honest, fearless, generous, and to reach for the stars.
When I decided to pursue an education in America, they supported me one hundred percent and sent me on my way. I’ve lived here for over 26 years and enjoyed every minute of it. At the same time, I maintain a strong connection with India, a place that Jim has experienced through my eyes since we’ve been married.
Our cross-cultural experiences in India and America have defined and strengthened our relationship over the years, as I’ve been adopted into a New England family and Jim has been adopted by my Indian family. Our child will be part of this vast network of places and people that make us who we are and who we still hope to become.
I was born and raised in an ethnic, Roman Catholic neighborhood surrounded by a younger sister and brother and other family and friends with whom I attended public school, played in the street, shoveled snow, and engaged in the other markers of a traditional New England childhood.
I enjoyed (and still enjoy) baseball, comics, family picnics, and hanging out with my friends. It was only after I left home, entered academia, and found myself among people of different backgrounds, that I began to grasp the distinctive values that informed by upbringing: responsibility, loyalty, respect for authority, and humility.
I was attracted to Chitralekha in graduate school because she possessed attributes that I admired: ambition, confidence, order, and patience. But I think the greatest gift I have received from our marriage was India.
I have traveled to South Asia many times in the last eighteen years, which is not something I would have predicted for myself. I consider it a privilege that I get to hop continents with Chitralekha, her parents, her older sister, and many relatives, and that I can be part of her immense extended family, a place where our child too will find belonging and love.