Dear Very Special Person,
We have never started a letter this way, but it seems appropriate. If you are reading this, you could be the expectant mother of a child who will fill our lives with joy beyond measure. This makes you one of the most special people on the planet as far as we are concerned!
Of course, we are as nervous writing this as you might be reading it. How can we put in a few paragraphs all the reasons why we are so lucky to have the opportunity to adopt a child? I wish we could say we understand what you are going through. How could we? We can only try our best to fathom how hard this process might be for you. You’re looking for a wonderful home and future for your child and we’re looking to extend the love we have, to share our hearts and home, our laughter and love. Perhaps we have found each other.
Who are we? Ok, here is a snapshot…
We are Frank and Emily (or Fremily, if you will). We met at a club, ok, it was a goth club. It was an appropriate setting to meet considering dancing and music are two of our favorite things. We quickly became close friends, with long phone calls and lots of texting. We fell in love during a once in a lifetime celestial event. It was a lunar eclipse that occurred on the Winter Solstice, the first to occur since 1638. We have been inseparable ever since. As cliché as this sounds, we are perfect for each other and we are very much in love.
We enjoy a good concert whenever we have a chance. We love doing things out of the ordinary, such as zip lining from the highest point in North America or celebrating Halloween in New Orleans. We love to travel and go on adventures. One of our dreams is to see the Aurora Borealis. Most of all, we love being with our family and friends and find we always have an event to attend every weekend, whether it be a birthday party or a holiday celebration. We are the “cool aunt and uncle” who won’t hesitate to climb into a bouncy house or play hide and seek. Above all else, we enjoy being with each other… cuddling up with some good snacks and a movie. Fun fact: our favorites are both trilogies, Star Wars and The Lord of the Rings (favorite book too). Is that dorky?
Frank works for one of the premier global media technology companies in Manhattan. Emily has designed swimwear for brands like Donna Karan, Juicy Couture, and Target (to name a few). Frank is a musician who has released two of his own albums and is currently working on a third. Emily enjoys photography, painting, sewing and all things artsy.
As we planned to start our family we recently bought a house in one of the top school districts in New York. We are renovating it from top to bottom to be our dream home. The house includes a big family playroom and a large backyard. There are lots of parks nearby and the neighborhood is perfect for taking walks or riding bicycles. We are an hour away from Manhattan and a short twenty minute drive to the beach. Emily plans on being a stay-at-home mom. Our child will have three grandmothers, one grandfather, 5 uncles, 4 aunts, and 12 cousins (with a lot of babies and young children to grow up with) that all live nearby. We also plan on getting a dog to share in our family adventures. Our family has a lot of traditions and holiday gatherings are big and fun with all the kids running around. We know we are very lucky to be surrounded by such a large family.
We also have some of our own traditions that we would like to share with our child. We have always written each other little daily love notes showing appreciation and affection. We look forward to writing special notes with our child in the same way. Halloween is our favorite holiday and a special time of year as our wedding anniversary is at the end of October. We usually plan a trip around this time of year and we have taken some memorable vacations. We love planning and making homemade costumes and decorating the house.
You might be wondering why we are adopting. After going through failed fertility treatments, we considered using a donor egg. We thought long and hard about this option, looking into the future and back again. It just didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like us. Adoption just feels like a better fit. We belong to a large local community of adoptive parents and children. We all get together monthly. We want our child to be raised around other children who were adopted. We feel it’s a gift for our child to have friends with similar histories.
To be a parent can be staggering and spectacular, heart-stopping and moving, overwhelming and wondrous. We want to tell you that we will be perfect, getting all things right while being the envy of all the other parents that we know. It would be foolish to promise you this. What we can promise is a home filled with silliness, playtime, lightheartedness, exploration, and a healthy way of handling the difficult feelings that may come and go. There will be kisses on boo boos, pillow fights and forts, dancing contests in the living room, trips to Disney, pancakes on Sundays, watching pretty sunsets, bedtime stories, lots of creativity, help with homework and a healthy amount of guidance.
We want to raise an independent spirit, not a mini version of ourselves. We will never own our child as a possession, but rather strive to help sculpt behavior that allows for expressiveness, new ideas and bravery. There will be some rules of course, with emphasis on self-respect and respect for others. We will always speak about you and your family with honor and appreciation.
We are very excited about welcoming a child into our love story. We can’t wait to be parents! Your child will be loved beyond measure.
We hope you enjoyed this little letter to you and learned a little bit about us along the way. We appreciate you taking the time to read it. We look forward to hearing from you! Don’t worry, we will be nervous on that first phone call too, but we’ll both be glad you called.
Emily & Frank