Our siblings are wildly older than us. Did we ever tell you that?
Marc and I each have two siblings, and we are both the youngest in our families. Our oldest brother and oldest sister are way older than us, but still our best friends.
Things get funny in that Marc’s oldest brother became a Dad young. My oldest sister was also young when she had her first child. Well, young by OUR standards - we are 38, so to become a parent in their 20s meant Marc and I were not even teens yet. I was 11 when I became an Aunt. I actually remember being in sixth grade, doodling rattles and baby blocks all over my paper on the day my niece was born.
I (Ashley Sue) am amazed in that our child, whoever she or he is, will grow up with our nieces’ and nephews’ babies! Yes, we have nieces and nephews in their mid-20s, and one of them JUST became a parent. Yes, our oldest nephew is a new Dad. And Marc’s twin has toddlers. And we will all be raising our families at the same time… and that’s pretty cool.
Watching one of our youngest nephews ride his first bike for the first time on Christmas, and seeing our oldest nephew and his gorgeous wife (proud to call our niece!) preparing for their own baby… The holidays were really special. I don’t know how else to say it… and it gave us so much to look forward to, and to hope for.
I know we went a bit quite for the holidays. We hope you were with people you love, who love you. We hope you were warm and happy, and hopeful for your life and the life of your child. We hope your heart is blessed.
Hugs and Love,
and cheers to 2018 and all it may behold,
Ashley Sue (and Marcus)
Hi! Ashley, here!
Something about me is that I have an incredibly active life in my sleep. I dream. A lot.
Vivid, emotional, poetic, cinema-quality dreams. I have my entire life, and I rather enjoy it. My dreams give me a lot of creative fuel, and I cannot imagine “sleeping soundly” without this second life.
All of my life, I dreamt of my own children. Often in the dreams, I had twins. Often in the dreams, I was having to protect my children from something; sometimes it was war that I held my babies safely away from. Sometimes, I was comforting them from the scary people that are “out in the world”. Still, always, I was their mother, and I loved them with so much of me that I woke up aching that they cannot have a truly perfect life—as no human can. This world is simply not set up for any of us to live a perfect fairytale existence.
After my infertility diagnosis seven years ago, my dreams of holding my children took a new emotional meaning to me. These dreams captured my hope that I will still know the love between parent and child.
For a couple years, now, I haven’t had any sleep-time dreams of being a parent.
I still dream of children almost every night! But night after night, I go to sleep and dream - about other people’s children. I dream about babysitting my nephews. I dream of protecting other people’s babies. Sometimes they are children of our relatives… sometimes they are stranger’s children…
... but morning after morning, I wake up and realize that my dream didn’t carry any hope that we will be parents… it’s like I am afraid I will always just be “Aunt Ashley”, and that my heart’s desire will be something I never experience… Family…. Passing down celebrations and history… Creating opportunities for more healing in the world…
All of that rambling is to say, today, I awoke from a dream where Marc and I were parents. A toddler was our child. We had taken the baby to the mountains for a week, and we were so excited seeing this precious child explore the world with fresh eyes and excitement! The child was small for their age, but mighty in heart and huge in personality.
My heart felt so much healing from this one dream… so much hope… so much Love.
I don’t know why I am sharing this… except, dreams are often best enjoyed when shared…
I hope your dreams are full of love, hope, and peace, also.