No one can deny that love is one of the most important ingredients for a successful adoption. However, that alone doesn’t guarantee the process will go smoothly. Feelings aside, what exactly does it take to ensure your adoption goes well? Follow this recipe to increase your chances of having a good experience.
One Ethical Professional. Be sure to research and find an agency and/or attorney that is trustworthy and knowledgeable about the adoption process. A good professional will help guide you, assist with completing and filing paperwork, answer questions, provide expectant parent counseling, recommend books and resources, and more.
Several Scoops of Good Communication. Talk, ask questions, and be clear on what you want and expect. Make sure you and your significant other thoroughly discuss adoption and are on the same page. Stay in regular contact with your agency or attorney and contact them with any concerns. Once you are matched with a potential birth parent, come to an agreement about the details of your adoption. Will the adoption be open, semi-open or closed? How much contact are both parties comfortable with? Will you accompany the birth mom to doctor appointments? Will you be present for the birth? These are all important things to address prior to delivery.
A Pound of Patience. There are so many unknowns with adoption, and the process is very unpredictable. You may be in for a long wait, have several failed matches, or run across some unexpected hurdles or obstacles. Although it can be frustrating, having some patience will help get you through the rough periods. Of course, you want to adopt as soon as possible, but there really is no hurry. Relax, use each day as a learning experience, and enjoy the ride.
A Pinch of Flexibility. You may have an idea in mind of what your child will be like; however, being open to a variety of situations will increase your chances of adopting. If you’ve always dreamed of a little girl, consider the possibility your future baby could be a boy. If you expected to have a child of the same ethnic background, think about what other nationalities or races you might consider. Also, explore if you are willing to adopt a child with special needs, drug or alcohol exposure, or possibly even one who isn’t a newborn.
A Healthy Dose of Perseverance. No matter what happens, be prepared to be in it for the long haul. After a disappointment, grieve and then pick yourself back up and move forward. You will experience ups and downs; it’s all part of the journey. Keep that precious tiny child in your mind and heart always, and remember that dreams can and do come true. Never give up — in time your baby will arrive. He or she will definitely be worth the wait!
Wrap It Up With Faith. No matter what your beliefs, take all of the above and wrap it up in faith. Things will work out however they are meant to. You may find strength through prayer, meditation, positive affirmations, or by just plain believing that you will adopt when the time is right. Trust the process and have faith that you will have the family you’ve dreamed of someday.