Adoption Blog - Adoptimist
May 5, 2016

What Is Birthmother’s Day?

We all know about Mother’s Day as we are bombarded by commercials and aisles in the stores dedicated to Mother’s Day gifts and cards. But there is a smaller holiday that some of those in the adoption community celebrate known as Birthmother’s Day. 

 Birthmother’s Day was created by a group of birthmothers who met at a support group in the 1990’s in Seattle, Washington. They recognized that Mother’s Day is a very painful holiday for most birthmothers, as they... Read more…

April 25, 2016

Ways To Honor Your Child’s Birth Mom On Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is an emotionally tough holiday for most birth mothers, second only perhaps to our child’s birthday. Mother’s Day is a reminder that we are not parenting our children and don’t have the same type of contact and relationship with them that other mothers have. Oftentimes birth mothers are overlooked on Mother’s Day for a variety of reasons. 
As an adoptive parent, you may be wondering if you should acknowledge your child’s birthmother on either Read more…

April 21, 2016

A Birth Mother’s Dilemma: Moving On Versus Moving Forward

“Moving on….” 
As a birthmother or even a mother considering adoption, have you ever heard that phrase? When talking about the grief and feelings a birthmother experiences after placing a child for adoption, has anyone ever told you that you should just be able to “move on” or “get over it”? I certainly have heard both of these phrases enough to really dislike them and their implications. 
To me, moving on and getting over something... Read more…

March 11, 2016

A Birth Mother’s Internal Struggle

I was recently reminded of this birthmother blog written by Elsa, another birthmother for the BirthMom Buds Blog, about the internal struggle she has dealt with post adoption. In this post, she shares a beautiful, yet heartbreaking poem about the internal struggle she goes through as a birthmother. This poem and post got me thinking about my own internal struggles regarding adoption and how most... Read more…

February 23, 2016

Why I Dislike The Question, “How Many Children do you Have?”

“How many children do you have?” 

This question (and its variation, “Do you have any children?”) sounds simple enough. In fact, it’s one I often find myself asking strangers or others while making small talk. But as both a birthmother and a mother of loss, I’ve begun to dislike this question. I never know how to answer it and am often left feeling sad or even guilty afterwards. It’s a question that years ago, before becoming a birthmother, I never thought could be so painful. It’s just one of the many little things you don’t think... Read more…

February 4, 2016

A Birthmother: Who is She? Why Does She Choose Adoption?

As a hopeful adoptive parent, a mother considering adoption, or even someone who is just curious, you may be wondering who is a birthmother? How old is she? What is she like? Do we have anything in common? 

 The media often portrays birthmothers in a negative light. Society has sometimes viewed birthmothers as women who “gave away their children.” Movies like Read more…

January 21, 2016

Birthmother Advice & Support For Women Considering Adoption

As a mother considering adoption, you are probably feeling overwhelmed. There is so much to learn in a very, very short period of time. Here is a list of things that I - and other birthmothers - wish we had known prior to, or at the time of, placement. Before you read this list, I should add that I don’t share these things to try and sway you from choosing adoption. I share them because you should have all the information and know... Read more…

December 29, 2015

‘Give Up My Baby’ For Adoption Versus ‘Place My Baby’ For Adoption

“She gave up her baby for adoption.” “She placed her baby for adoption.” 

 Both sentences convey the exact same message but they come across totally different to the reader or the listener. 

“She gave up her baby for adoption” or “She gave away her baby for adoption” is a more old-school way of talking about the decision a birthmother made to place her baby for adoption. It sounds just as it reads: like the birthmother just gave up, accepted defeat, and had no choice. It also implies a lack of value for the object you are giving... Read more…

December 2, 2015

Being a Birthmother is Bittersweet


Until I became a birthmother I rarely heard and had probably never used the word bittersweet. But now I think it is a perfect word that accurately describes what it is like to be a birthmother, particularly a birthmother in an open adoption. It just really describes the ups and downs of being a birthmother in one single word, like no other in the English language. According to Your Dictionary,... Read more…