Your phone rings. It’s a potential birth mom. She saw your profile online and wants you to be her baby’s parents. And she’s due next week! Your heart races; your hopes soar. Could this be it? The last thing on your mind is the thought that this person may not even be pregnant. It never occurs to you that she is actually an experienced con artist trying to scam hopeful couples out of gifts and money. Unfortunately, adoption scams do sometimes happen. Here’s what happened to us, and what you can do to protect yourselves. During the adoption process, a... Read more…

The day you’ve been waiting for has arrived: a potential birth mom is interested in you and wants to meet. No doubt you’re feeling a variety of emotions: excited, nervous, happy, and apprehensive. How do you make sure your meeting goes well? Here are some tips that can definitely make a difference. • Admit You’re Nervous. When my husband and I met with a potential birth mom for the first time during the adoption process, we told her right away that we were nervous. She smiled and replied that she was too. Adoption is a big, life-altering event for... Read more…

Sometime in the coming days, weeks, or months, a woman may contact you. Conversations will follow and you may both come to know that the baby she is carrying will be your future child. Caution and hesitation will give way to excitement and joy.  Before long, you will welcome a baby into your home and hearts. Your adoption journey will end—and begin. But getting from here to there may not be so easy. One of the biggest challenges you face is to make your way through calls, emails, and other communications from women who are not carrying your baby, while... Read more…

Many couples considering adoption wonder what relationship, if any, they will have with their child’s birth mom. How will this person fit into your life and your child’s life? What role will she play? Having been through the adoption process, I can honesty tell you that it all works out. In fact, one day you may even be amazed at just how special this person has become to you. I remember when my husband and I met our daughter’s birth mom – a complete stranger – at the hospital just hours before she gave birth. I was almost 37 at the time and had... Read more…

As is part of the adoption process, sometimes plans can change at the last minute, leaving adoptive families devastated. While everyone keeps in mind the rights and wishes of the birthmother and what is best for the baby, it is hard to comes to terms with your hopes and dreams being shattered. Hope is something that families looking to adopt develop the ability to master. The ability to optimistically will something to come to fruition that you have no control over. However, when the fruits don’t come to fruition, that ability to continue to hope can truly... Read more…

What should I do if I get an inquiry from overseas?  Are there legitimate expectant mothers looking to place with US adoptive parents?  I know Adoptimist has blocked international traffic.   Adopting from overseas involves immigration determinations and almost always requires the establishment of orphan status in the prospective adoptee.  Children are prohibited from being brought to the US for the express purpose of adoption.  Because of these restrictions and limitations, along with the high incidence of fraudulent intent associated with international... Read more…

Adoptimist Messaging is significantly different than most other e-communications you will have with an expectant mother who is considering adoption. In this article we’ll briefly explore the reasons why Adoptimist Messaging is unique and discuss how you can start to prepare for successful communications on the website. As always, we recommend using these tips as a guide only. Your instincts and intuition should always supersede any advice that we can provide here. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the essentials you’ll want to know about... Read more…

What does it mean when a registered expectant mother begins to ‘like’ or ‘follow’ your family? Simply put, one of our registered expectant mother members is interested in you and has added you to her list of families. She does this by clicking on the ‘Like This Family’ button found at the top of every family profile on the site. Whenever she logs in to her Adoptimist account, she can access this list. Each family entry contains your photo, name, profile link, a brief bio, and the date of your most recent site activity. This... Read more…

I was recently contacted on the Adoptimist website. How do I identify a legitimate connection versus one that is from a scammer? The person that contacted me did bring up finances right away, which I hear is a big red flag. As I mentioned in a previous column, there is no substitute for meeting in-person, reviewing prenatal records and evaluating responsiveness when it comes to sizing-up an expectant mother. Keep in mind that many expectant mothers are under pressure financially [and emotionally]. So requests for financial assistance have to be expected as... Read more…

Adoptimist members don’t have to speculate about what kind of impact their profiles are making. They can quickly view our comprehensive statistics and make informed decisions based upon them. Here is a quick primer to help your family get the most out of our statistics and rankings system. About Adoptimist Rankings Profile rankings are based on a statistical comparison of all profiles in our system. The statistics upon which your ranking is based are pulled directly from Google Analytics - the most trusted source for website stats and traffic data on... Read more…